Basingstoke Online Forum is one month old

[seamatt]

i'm not accusing anyone, including you sam, of entering in to a verbal slanging match I'm just pre-empting it, i've seen how these situations develop.

[Della]

commonasmuck Wrote:i think what you have posted is right sam. it is a shame that people will leave this forum because of the posts of a few other people.
i think this forum was the best in basingstoke

Yes, the last thing we want is for anyone to leave or to put off anyone who wants to join. Can we not go back to debating topics in a civilised manner instead of having a slanging match? It is more important to keep the forum a nice place to post than to point out who is right and who is wrong.

[commonasmuck]

having said that do we want trouble makers? this is a good forum and will survive this hiccup.

[exmember]

Della Wrote:Yes, the last thing we want is for anyone to leave or to put off anyone who wants to join. Can we not go back to debating topics in a civilised manner instead of having a slanging match? It is more important to keep the forum a nice place to post than to point out who is right and who is wrong.

This is not a slanging match it is I think a important debate which is civilised in tone but none the less challenges those who feel they are not bound by acceptable and respectable behaviour.

I have read back the relevant sections of this thread and despite the controversial way the thread has developed what I see is a civilised debate. Yes people are concerned some angry but there has been no name calling just a moderated expression of how a member of this forum has behaved in a unacceptable manner. This behaviour is not a one off mistake in the heat of the moment but it seems serial offences against other members, some of which are so upset they have left.

Rudeness and mockery are on the increase too, but only it has to be said from a few members . The reason I think we should air our dirty washing in public is these people should know that we are not going to remain silent and slink off while these miscreant ruin this exceptional forum.

This forum should be for everyone for those who are robust to those of a more sensitive disposition. This does not mean we cannot discuss controversial topics with passion and conviction. Respect not rudeness should be our guiding light.

Misuse of PM's and abuse on the board is beyond what should be considered acceptable behaviour in this forum.

[Dulla]

This place is a joke. A genuine question here..Seamatt, what do you get out of running this site apart from aggro? You don't earn any income from it. And you know there is abuse of the PM system, as various issues arose on the old site and you chose to turn a blind eye.

And you wonder why no new people ever join the meets. So many good people have left this site in recent months or not re registered because of the "in fighting".

I will admit I registered this profile initially to have a go because I have been so wound up from reading various things, but then actually thought better of it as it would make me as pathetic as those who set up fake profiles. See doughnut-city.co.uk and watch Daniel and Brian pose as various people to cheer up their empty lives.

There's another user here that says what she likes, but if you dare challenge her she threatens to send her husband round.

The reputation of Basingstoke Online has become a joke.

[shell]

Dulla Wrote:I will admit I registered this profile initially to have a go because I have been so wound up from reading various things,

It is a shame that whoever you are, you don't have the foritude to stick by your words as your regular user name. In using an alias, not only do you lose all credence, you also, as you have so rightly put, become no better than the rest. I must say though, fair play for admitting it. Its a shame that others probably wont follow suit. Some wont even admit to taking part it what is going on at the moment, even though it is obvious that they are.

Sam is right, no one likes thier dirty washing being hung out in public, however some times it is necessary in order for EVERYONE to be able to move forward and learn from their past mistakes.

[Della]

Sam Wrote:

Della Wrote:Yes, the last thing we want is for anyone to leave or to put off anyone who wants to join. Can we not go back to debating topics in a civilised manner instead of having a slanging match? It is more important to keep the forum a nice place to post than to point out who is right and who is wrong.

This is not a slanging match it is I think a important debate which is civilised in tone but none the less challenges those who feel they are not bound by acceptable and respectable behaviour.

I have read back the relevant sections of this thread and despite the controversial way the thread has developed what I see is a civilised debate. Yes people are concerned some angry but there has been no name calling just a moderated expression of how a member of this forum has behaved in a unacceptable manner. This behaviour is not a one off mistake in the heat of the moment but it seems serial offences against other members, some of which are so upset they have left.

Rudeness and mockery are on the increase too, but only it has to be said from a few members . The reason I think we should air our dirty washing in public is these people should know that we are not going to remain silent and slink off while these miscreant ruin this exceptional forum.

This forum should be for everyone for those who are robust to those of a more sensitive disposition. This does not mean we cannot discuss controversial topics with passion and conviction. Respect not rudeness should be our guiding light.

Misuse of PM's and abuse on the board is beyond what should be considered acceptable behaviour in this forum.

Well said Sam. People have expressed differing opinions politely. We all should behave politely and considerately and no-one should be rude or send abusive PMs. Hopefully this thread will remind everyone that PMs should be polite even though they are not public.

commonasmuck Wrote:having said that do we want trouble makers? this is a good forum and will survive this hiccup.

Yes, you are right commonasmuck. There are so many lovely people posting here that we may have a few differences of opinion, but I am sure that the forum will survive. Hopefully any problems will end now and we won't let a few people squabbling spoil it for everyone. OK so things have been said or written in the past that were thoughtless and have upset people. Can we not move on and agree to be polite from now on instead of looking back and apportioning blame?

Dulla, fair play to you for thinking better of it. I know I get on your nerves and I am sorry. Maybe we could all have a fresh start instead of worrying about whatever happened in the past. Truce?

[Pic]

Della Wrote:It is more important to keep the forum a nice place to post than to point out who is right and who is wrong.

Della I’m sorry but I can’t subscribe to that point of view. Is it not the duty of all forum members to bring abusive/threatening behaviour to light so that it can be dealt with and those responsible brought to task? I, for one, agree fully with sam when he says….

sam Wrote:Making excuses for these people and sweeping it under the carpet won't make it go away.

..and nor should it. These people must be exposed for what they are.

Now it seems to me that I’m not the only person that has received abusive/threatening PM’s from this person. Surely continued sub-standard behaviour of this ilk warrants being banned. How can this forum be a “nice place to post” as you say, whilst this man is allowed to abuse/threaten others whenever he sees fit, or indeed feels the need?

I also agree with commonasmuck when she says…..

commonasmuck Wrote:it is a shame that new people are made to feel this way. i can't understand why it has to be this way. this was a nice forum with not much trouble but now we have people that feel they can't stay because of the way they are treated.the people that have caused this should be ashamed of their behavior.

……it’s absolutely deplorable that people feel threatened into leaving this forum because of the vile rants of one member. Please notice where commonasmuck states “this WAS a nice forum”, once again I find myself in full agreement, she is right it was. Then a certain person returns from their self imposed exile and what happens, the same old practice of sending abusive/threatening PM’s. This is no coincidence.

I, like sam, have no difficulty in ‘airing the dirty washing in public’, I have nothing to hide. I have done nothing wrong. People who know me will be very aware that my heart is on my sleeve, but whenever I have done wrong to, or upset others I have held my hand up and apologised. Let’s see if this particular member has the same sort of mettle. I very much doubt it.

Now as a slight aside, I expect many of you will now be in receipt of a PM from the member in question stating that’s its all my fault, how many of you have had trouble with me in the past, that I have multiple logins, that I have a problem and how hard it is to get on with me. Well I openly ask you to re-read this thread and tell me where I did anything wrong. No, he is the only one that has really had any trouble with me and he is just trying to manipulate you into his way of thinking. He doesn’t like me, that is his prerogative, but why the lies and subterfuge I ask you?

So let’s state a few facts for the record…….
I do NOT have multiple logins
I do NOT post on other Basingstoke forums
I have NEVER sent an abusive/threatening PM
I DO speak as I find
I WILL stand my corner
I will NOT be bullied
And most importantly I will NOT stand idly by whilst others tell lies about me

Who knows Della maybe you are right, maybe it not about who is wrong and who is right, maybe it’s about the integrity of this forum.


Now whilst I’m here let me say this, Maisie, if its my name that you are referring to as “questionable” then let me assure you that it was not my intention to offend nor upset anybody, I just thought it was funny that’s all. If you like I’ll change it, just let me know, that goes for everybody. Although I am unsure as to where I may have, “made a mockery of any debate”.

[Della]

Jenni Taylia Wrote:So let’s state a few facts for the record…….
I do NOT have multiple logins
I do NOT post on other Basingstoke forums
I have NEVER sent an abusive/threatening PM
I DO speak as I find
I WILL stand my corner
I will NOT be bullied
And most importantly I will NOT stand idly by whilst others tell lies about me

I totally agreed, you have never done those things nor would you. Where is anyone saying that you have?

OK, I can see the point that maybe we need to 'air our dirty washing in public' a bit so that no-one is bullied or intimidated off this forum and to make this forum a nice place now.

So, we all know what happened long ago, we don't care what happens on other forums, who is complaining that they have received an abusive PM from Brian on this new forum?

[commonasmuck]

Dulla Wrote:This place is a joke. A genuine question here..Seamatt, what do you get out of running this site apart from aggro? You don't earn any income from it. And you know there is abuse of the PM system, as various issues arose on the old site and you chose to turn a blind eye.

And you wonder why no new people ever join the meets. So many good people have left this site in recent months or not re registered because of the "in fighting".

I will admit I registered this profile initially to have a go because I have been so wound up from reading various things, but then actually thought better of it as it would make me as pathetic as those who set up fake profiles. See doughnut-city.co.uk and watch Daniel and Brian pose as various people to cheer up their empty lives.

There's another user here that says what she likes, but if you dare challenge her she threatens to send her husband round.

The reputation of Basingstoke Online has become a joke.

so be brave show us who you were